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Friday, January 25, 2013

My Misguided Understanding of Maternity Leave


I haven't posted a single thing to the blog since a month before the baby was born. This boils down to my grumpiness at an overdue pregnancy and my seriously misguided understanding of what maternity leave is like.

The Grumpy End of Pregnancy
My original due date was Oct. 25. At my first appointment, they moved it to Nov. 1. I was none too pleased that we were dragging this out, so I clung to my original due date with hope. No such luck. In the end, I was 18 days past my original due date (which I still claim is the real one) and 12 days past my  doctor-given due date. My feet and ankles were the size of Honey Boo Boo's mom's and I had horrific acid reflux.
I'm almost embarrassed to post this, but this was real life, yo.
I really did not want to be induced. I needed childbirth to sneak up on me, rather than having a countdown to doom. But that child just wasn't coming out on his or her own. Nugget finally had to be evicted from my womb on Nov. 13, 2012. My mom and dad drove through the night on the 12th to get here.
I'm over it. Mom made me pose for one last picture before we left to go to the hospital. 
I was scared to death of labor, but once I had the epidural, (shout out to my beloved Larry, the anesthesiologist) everything was great. I was in labor for about 10 hours, and pushed three times. Not too shabby! We were so excited to hear the doctor finally announce, "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" that we were temporarily speechless when she threw us for a loop by asking, "What is it, Dad?" Shoot, we didn't know there was a test involved here! Several awkward seconds later, we found our words and realized it was a girl, Harper Elizabeth! She was 7 pounds, 14 ounces, 20 inches, and was born at 6:34 p.m. She is precious.


Our first family photo!
Grammy and Grandpa were in the waiting room and were so excited to get the news. We were lucky that Grandpa stayed for a few days, and Grammy stayed for two weeks! It was wonderful having them here for this.

Grandpa and Harper have the same smile.
Grammy finally gets her grand baby.
Great Granddad came by the hospital on his way to South Texas for the winter.
We think she looks like Josh (left). I'm on the right.
But sometimes there are flashes of her looking like me.
My Misguided Understanding of Maternity Leave
Well eventually Grammy had to leave, and Daddy had to go back to work, and it was just me and Harper, all day, every day. You know how everyone says, "Sleep when the baby sleeps?" Ok, no problem, I thought. This is going to be so relaxing! We'll snuggle and play, and then we'll nap. Heck, I probably won't even want to nap as much as her, so I'll get all kinds of things done around the house, too.

Enter Harper, the baby who doesn't nap unless you're holding her. Throw in some colic or acid reflux (we're not sure) for good measure, and you've got a baby that screams bloody murder for a good percentage of the day. I couldn't put her down for more than a minute or two at a time without her screaming. She screamed when she ate. She screamed when she had gas. She screamed when she pooped. Tummy troubles, round the clock. We tried all of the "Happiest Baby on the Block" things, from becoming swaddle ninjas to mastering the "shush" and white noise. We discovered the magic of bouncing on an exercise ball with her--the only thing that would make her quit crying sometimes. I became a master of typing everything by thumb, since that's all I ever had free while holding a screaming baby. So yes, days have been rough. And long.

Great Grams came to stay for a week and help me out. It was so great that she and Harper got that time together.

We call this her "baby bird" pose. She pops that little head up and looks around with those huge, blue eyes.
Great Grams with her first great grand baby
After Grams left, I was so lucky that my sister was on winter break from school and could help save me. She came to stay with us and we had 29 blissful days of togetherness. Well the days were more blissful for me than being alone; I'm not sure how blissful they felt for Libby. But it was awesome that she got to spend so much time with her niece. Plus, we plowed through the first two seasons of Downton Abbey. I could not have survived without her.

Harper and Aunt Libby
Aunt Libby coined some awesome Harper phrases during her visit:

gum-blockin'-I want my bitey, but I'm going to clamp down my gummy chops and prevent you from inserting it.
spaz hands-I can't sleep unless you swaddle me so tight, because my spaz hands are always flying, waking me up.
hangry-I'm so hungry that I'm angry.
fangry-you can figure this one out yourself.

At Christmas, Harper started sleeping through the night, so I can't complain too much. She is an awesome night sleeper. And I think she's starting to turn a corner on feeling better. She plays for longer stretches in her bouncer or on her jungle gym floor mat, giving me time to actually brush my teeth or eat lunch. And she laughs and coos, which totally makes you forget about all of the screaming. Once in awhile, she'll even take a nap. In her bed. So we're making progress! I was able to type this over a stretch of three attempts at getting her to nap, but now the third attempt has officially failed. She's broken free of her swaddle like Houdini, and I need to go get her before she really cranks up the anger level!

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